Between nappies and science
In earlier times "parents" roles were clearly defined in West Germany. Dad went to work, and Mum looked after the children and the home. Nowadays, academic couples in particular are opting more and more for alternative models, dividing up work and family duties between each other on a more equal basis. The opportunities and challenges which this entails were shown in a workshop held at the end of January aimed specifically at fathers at University of Münster. Juliette Polenz spoke to Bernd Christmann, a research assistant at the Institute of Education, about the content of the workshop and the ideas it gave him.
You became a father last August. What have your first experiences been like?
Bernd Christmann: I knew that a lot would change – and now I know that it really does. The lack of sleep that everyone talks about, for example. Of course, I’d heard about it – but when it’s the third, fourth, fifth night in a row that you don’t sleep much, or even don’t get any sleep at all, you really feel what it means. And it’s a real challenge! Even though the three of us have now found our routine, it’s good to be able to talk with others who feel the same way.
So the workshop came at the right time ...
It sure did (laughs)! We haven't been living in Münster for long, and, as with many academics, it was our jobs that brought us to Westphalia. We don't have a large circle of friends, and only a few of them have children. In this new situation in our lives, though, we're interested in seeing how other couples get things done. How can a balance be achieved between children and career? What can we do for us two ourselves? The good thing about the seminar was that everyone who took part was in a similar situation, work-wise.
What awaited you?
The seminar was held at a very special place – in the fireside lounge in Netherlands House. As we all introduced ourselves it became apparent that we were all studying or working at Münster University, although the subjects and the children’s ages varied, of course. What those who had older children had to say gave us hope – after a while it gets easier, they said (laughs)!
Were there any aha moments?
It was fascinating to see the different ways in which fathers deal with the new situation! There's one dad, for example, who looks after the child completely in its first year. Other couples divide up work and family duties between each other on a more equal basis. Also, different subjects have different influences on the model chosen. In the case of lawyers, for example, there is a very clearly defined job profile they are studying towards. For natural scientists and educationalists it's much more open. The decentralized structure at the University means that there is not only one way to strike a balance between family and career. Each department has its own ideas for finding solutions.
Which model did you decide on?
We personally took a "classic" route. My partner took parental leave for twelve months, and next summer I'll be taking it too, for two months. After that we'll need to find a place for our daughter in a childcare facility because we both want to resume working. My partner already has her PhD and she wanted to look after our child in the first year. I'm still working on my PhD, and as a result of our dividing up the work I can gain further academic qualifications. In general, our careers are more difficult to plan than in other jobs. There's no security. It was good to hear in the workshop how other people cope with these issues.
And how do you rate the workshop?
It was a very good experience to have four hours in which I could talk to other fathers who were from a similar field to mine. I took a lot of suggestions on board – especially for my role as a father. One thing I think would be really good would be to have more networking opportunities for male academics with children!
The workshop
What role do fathers want to adopt in the family? This was the question discussed by participants in a workshop at the end of January led by Nils Seiler, a parenting coach from Berlin. The focus was on their ideas of what constituted a fulfilled family life and working life, as well as on discussions with other fathers who are studying or working at Münster University. The Münster University Family Services Office (Servicebüro Familie) had organized the workshop. Another workshop is planned for January 2018.
Translated from German by Ken Ashton